San Diego Divorce Lawyers

Julia M. Garwood • Certified Family Law Specialist

Testimonials


What do you associate this past year with? If you went through a divorce in 2015, it was a year of transitions. Tough decisions. Growth. Changes. Pain.It's time to leave behind 2015 and welcome 2016 as a year of healing after divorce. Whether or not you believe in New Year’s Resolutions, why not use this opportunity of a new year to enact positive changes [1] into your life in the time you need them most. This new year represents a fresh start, a clean slate, a chance to heal and move on with your life. Move forward into this new year setting the right intentions and maintain them [2].1) Visualize What You Want:When we’ve been in a relationship for so long, our self-actualization takes a back seat. Take this new year to figure out what your heart and soul truly longs for. You may need to think back on your past goals. Remember when: you said you aimed to be a jewelry designer when you were 13? When you wanted to open your own restaurant when you were 19? When you dreamed about writing a novel when you were 28? When you promised yourself you would run a marathon before you were 33? Think back to what you used to fantasize about and the things that make you feel alive. Divorce means shifting the focus back to yourself and deciding what you want out of your life. Now is the time to make those visions a reality.Set your sights on what you want. Decide the steps you need to take to get there. And manifest it. Nothing will help your own healing after divorce process than falling back in love with life, and that happens when you’re following your passion.2) Love Your Body:The most cliche new year’s resolution is “I want to lose X pounds.” These resolutions typically fail by mid-February. Crash or fad diets are not healthy practices. Any diet that makes you feel miserable and starving a majority of the time is not healthy, and it’s not going to encourage you to be your best self. After a divorce, this should be a time of self-love, of honoring your body for all it does for you, not depriving it. Health is the productive goal we want here. If the pounds drop, so be it, but the ultimate goal should be living a healthy, active lifestyle. Go to the Farmer’s Market and buy fresh foods, experiment with cooking new recipes, pay attention to what foods give you the most energy. Educate yourself on what nourishes your body the most and change your diet to reflect these foods. Exercise is a wonderful outlet to relieve stress and enhance confidence. Find a form of exercise you love and think outside of the box of the “traditional” working out.  Try a salsa dancing class, buy a bicycle, go for a jog, try different forms of exercise until you find something you get excited about. It’s no fun to force yourself to do yoga if it bores you or run if you hate it. Exercise in a way that works for YOU and makes YOU excited so working out is an enjoyable aspect of your day. 3) Open Yourself Up to New Experiences:Independence after being with someone can be downright terrifying. Change your frame of reference! It doesn’t have to be scary. This new truth can be empowering. You are an independent woman or man. Let that inspire you. You can be, do or try anything you’d like during this time of healing after divorce. Divorce is an emotional whirlwind of a process. Channel these emotions into a creative new hobby- poetry, painting, pottery. Whatever art form you are drawn to, let it inspire you to use your creativity. Sometimes the most amazing experiences come from saying “yes” to something you normally say “no” to. Say “yes”. May it be bungee jumping, a date with a guy who’s not your type, a new cuisine, moving to a different neighborhood. Say yes. Life is your playground, not your prison. Go out and play. Experience all life has to offer.4) Allow Yourself the Slack to Grieve:Divorce is an individual process. It’s not a blanket step-by-step path of healing after divorce. Everyone deals with it in their own way. In this new year, don’t get caught up in how things “should” look or how you “should” be feeling. Make your own well-being a priority. Your healing is the first step to rebuilding your life. Too often we are told to “fake it til you make it” or “smile through the pain” but these can be unhealthy practices. You may be simply burying the pain. Confront it. It’s okay to feel upset, you’re allowed to feel hurt. You feel what you feel, why lie to yourself? Allow yourself the slack to have those nights where you just curl up with a pint of ice cream and cry. You’re a human, not a robot. These emotional expressions are key to healing. You need to openly be upset before you can organically and productively move on. Soon, you’ll feel the need to cry less and less. 5) Look towards the Future:The most healthy act you can do is the act of forgiveness, as tough as it may be. Holding onto a grudge isn’t serving you. Let it go. Try to shift your anger and bitterness towards a calm neutrality. This person is out of your life for a reason. He or she no longer deserves your energy. Dispelling the hurt out of your life and out of your mind leaves room for something beautiful to enter. You may be feeling raw and vulnerable during this time, but the end of something old implies the beginning of something new. Who knows what will be coming your way in 2016? 6) Reach Out:You are not alone in this process. You have a team [3] on your side. This burden is not solely on you! Reach out to others for help. It’s not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength to acknowledge that you are struggling with healing after divorce.May 2016 be a year of healing + health for your mind, body & soul. [1] http://www.garwoodfamilylaw.com/affecting-positive-changes-for-the-new-year/ [2] http://powertochange.com/life/resolutionstick/ [3] http://www.garwoodfamilylaw.com/how-we-can-help/

Abuse/Domestic Violence


 

Divorce isn’t exactly something that comes to mind when you think of reasons to celebrate. You’re feeling raw and vulnerable after those final papers are signed. Which is exactly why you owe it to yourself to throw a divorce party. We challenge you to rethink your concept of divorce and celebrate. Here’s why:Reason 1- A Party Can Redefine the Experience for YouDivorce can only get you down if you let it. By throwing a party, you are transforming the negative experience into a positive and celebratory one. Divorce is bittersweet; the end of your marriage implies the beginning of the next stage of your life, which is an exciting concept. Rather than dwelling on the end of your marriage, why don’t you focus on the beginning of the next stage of your life? Instead of being sad about the past, a divorce party is a way to celebrate and look towards the future. What’s done is done. Why not pop some champagne and toast to new beginnings? This is much more productive towards your healing than spending an evening inside watching sitcoms and eating frozen yogurt.Reason 2- You Deserve a Fun NightDivorce is an emotionally exhausting process that demanded much of your time and energy to tie up all the loose ends. When’s the last time you got all your friends together and just had a fun night? You deserve some good memories after all you’ve been dealing with. So treat yourself with a fantastic meal, surround yourself with your best friends and make some memories. You owe it to yourself.Reason 3- You Should Take Advantage of San Diego’s Dining and Nightlife SceneWhat kind of divorce party you want to throw is up to you. Some divorcees use the opportunity to throw a duo divorce/housewarming party at their new place or plan a weekend getaway. It comes down to analyzing yourself and what appeals to you the most. This is your celebration, do what feels right to you! If you choose to take advantage of San Diego’s amazing dining and nightlife scene, here’s a few recommendations:FOR THE SOPHISTICATED DIVORCEE Florent [1]This historic building is known for its sleek modern yet quirky ambiance, craft cocktails and Modern American menu. The dining atmosphere seamlessly transforms into a nightlife destination by night, so you’ll be ensuring your whole party will be well-fed and then dance the night away.Contact Jared (jared@florentsd.com) and he’ll take care of you!FOR THE DIVORCEE WHO WANTS TO GET WILDWhiskey Girl [2]Another fun Gaslamp Quarter spot for the lady who wants Jack Daniels and wants it now. Whiskey Girl is the perfect spot to let loose, sing some karaoke in the karaoke booth, let your hair down to live music and get a tall glass of something strong.Contact Reggie (reginaldvelasco@hotmail.com) to make it a night to remember.FOR THE DIVORCEE WHO LIKES COUNTRY Double Deuce [3]Mechanical bull is the epitome of announcing to the world your new single status. What says “I’m free and wild” more so than holding on tight to Dalton?The fun spot also has a fun country atmosphere, karaoke, trivia and the fun “Smokin’ Guns” who keep the party going.FOR THE DIVORCEE WITH A UNIQUE BLEND OF FRIENDSTipsy Crow [4]Head to Tipsy Crow to ensure that there will be something for all your friends to enjoy. You may have some friends who want to dance the night away, others who enjoy more of a chill pub environment, some who like to play pool. Tipsy Crow has three levels, which not only means triple the fun, but ensures that everyone will find something they like.  With so many quirky events, there's something for everyone.Reason 4- The Celebration Could Be Cathartic for YouSome divorcees opt to make their celebration a way to get out their pent-up aggression. I have heard of some people taking their divorce parties to the gun range to fire off shots at their wedding dress or tux, or to a bonfire to burn the marriage license or play darts with a photo from their wedding. If this seems like it could be a freeing, empowering method for you, try that. Get all those negative emotions out to make room for the positivity that will soon be coming your way.(Remember: no fires outside in California, so you may want to utilize your fireplace for any cathartic release)Reason 5- It’s a Way to Announce Your New Single StatusThis is your “coming out” so to speak. It’s awkward and uncomfortable to have to explain to everyone why you are now solo. The divorce party announces this for itself, and furthermore, implies that you are owning it and not ashamed of it. This party signals the start of something new; the start of becoming and developing into your own person. Have a night being dazzling and single to kick off your new time as a divorced woman or man. Let the celebration empower you as an independent person. This is your life and you’re entitled to do and feel whatever and however you want to.Convinced yet? It’s time to design the invitations and break out the sparkly dress or new tie- throw a divorce party! Whether you are a man or a woman surround yourself with good people and welcome this new stage in your life with a wild night. [1] http://www.florentsd.com/ [2] http://whiskeygirlsd.com [3] http://doubledeucesd.com [4] http://thetipsycrow.com

Abuse/Domestic Violence


 

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